Writing an obituary after a long illness
After a long illness the family has usually been living with the ending for months, and the obituary has a job the others do not: to give the years back their proportion. The illness took the last chapter. It should not take the whole page.
What changes, and what stays the same
- The announcement can carry the phrase or not. “After a long illness”, “after a courageous battle with cancer”, “peacefully, at home, after a long illness” — or simply “died at home on March 3”.
- Naming the illness is a choice, not a duty. Families often name it when they are pointing donations at research, and leave it out when they are not.
- “Peacefully” and “surrounded by family” are used when they are true. They are a comfort to read and a small untruth to print, so use them only if they are.
- The acknowledgement matters more here than anywhere: the hospice nurses, the aides, the neighbour who drove to appointments. Name them.
- Donations are usually directed to the hospice or the research charity, and families say the gift meant more than flowers would have.
A worked example
Margaret Rose Whitcombe, 65, of Savannah, Georgia, died peacefully at home on May 3, 2026, after a long illness, with her family around her and, at her request, a great many roses.
Maggie was born on February 14, 1961, in Charleston, South Carolina, to Walter and Eleanor Hale. She graduated from Converse College in 1983 with a degree in music, and married James Whitcombe in 1985.
She taught piano to three generations of Savannah children from the front room of the house on Jones Street, sang in the First Presbyterian choir for thirty-eight years, and kept a garden that stopped traffic every April. She believed every child could learn to play something and every yard could grow a rose, and she spent her life proving both.
She is survived by her husband of forty-one years, James; her daughters, Claire (Michael) Whitcombe-Ross and Emily Whitcombe; her grandchildren, Hale, Eleanor and Wren; her brother, Thomas (Ann) Hale; and hundreds of former students who still hear her counting.
A memorial service will be held at First Presbyterian Church, 200 West Church Street, on Saturday, May 9, at 2:00 p.m.
The family thanks the nurses of Hospice Savannah, who were kind to all of us for a year. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the First Presbyterian music fund.
Avoid “lost her battle” if you can. Many families dislike it — it makes an illness a contest and a death a defeat — and “died after a long illness” carries no such freight. But if it is the family's own phrase, it is the family's obituary.
Naming the illness, or not
There is no convention that requires it. Families name the illness when the notice is doing a second job — directing donations to research, or telling a community why someone disappeared from view for two years. Families leave it out when the person would have hated being defined by it, which is common.
If you name it, name it once, plainly: “after a long illness with Parkinson's disease”. The obituary then moves on, which is what the person would have done.
Thanking the people who cared for them
This is the part families are gladdest to have printed, and the part they most often forget to draft in time. Name the hospice, the unit, the doctor and — if you can — one or two nurses or aides by name. “The family thanks Dr. Alvarez and the nurses of Peterson hospice, who made a hard year kinder,” takes one line and is read by everybody who helped.
In a printed program this belongs on the back page, under Acknowledgements, and it can be longer there than in a paid newspaper notice.
Questions families ask
- Should I name the illness in the obituary?
- Only if the family wants it named. It is common when donations are being directed to research or a hospice, and equally common to leave it out. “After a long illness” is complete on its own.
- Is it right to say “lost her battle with cancer”?
- Many families now avoid it, because it frames an illness as a contest and a death as a loss on points. “Died after a long illness” carries none of that. If the phrase is the family's own, use it.
- How do I thank the hospice in an obituary?
- One sentence, with names: “The family thanks Dr. Alvarez and the nurses of Peterson hospice for their kindness and care.” In a printed program it goes on the back page under Acknowledgements.
This page is offered for informational purposes only. It is not legal, medical or funeral-directing advice, and no warranty is given as to its accuracy, completeness or fitness for any particular purpose. Where a detail matters — a date, a rank, a service time — confirm it with the funeral home, the church or the family before it is printed.
The other situations
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