Writing an obituary when there is no spouse or children
The survivors list is the part of the standard format that assumes a household. Plenty of lives were not shaped that way — someone never married, or outlived a spouse and a sibling and most of a generation. The obituary is not smaller for it; it just lists different people.
What changes, and what stays the same
- Chosen family goes in the list. Nieces and nephews, godchildren, a lifelong friend, a neighbour of forty years, the people at the shop — these are survivors, and naming them is normal.
- “He is survived by his sister…” or “She leaves her nieces and nephews…” works exactly as well as a spouse and children.
- Where an older person has outlived nearly everyone, the “preceded in death by” sentence can be the longer one, and that is a true and dignified thing to print.
- The life section usually grows to take the space: friendships, work, church, the neighbourhood, the animals.
- For someone with no close family at all, the notice is often placed by a friend, an executor or the parish, and says so: “placed by his friends at the Wednesday club.”
A worked example
Thomas Reid Callaway, 66, of Madison, Wisconsin, died at home on August 18, 2026, in his chair, with a book open.
Tom was born on June 30, 1960, in Eau Claire, to Reid and Helen Callaway. He read everything in the Eau Claire public library by fourteen, or claimed to, and graduated from the University of Wisconsin library school in 1984.
He was a reference librarian at the Madison Public Library for forty years, the last twenty at the central branch, where the reference desk was, in effect, him. He answered by his own count more than two hundred thousand questions and never once said he did not know — he said he would find out, and he did. He ran the Tuesday reading group for thirty-one years, walked to work in every weather, and kept his own counsel and everybody else's.
He never married and had no children. He is survived by his brother, John (Kay) Callaway; his nephews, Mark and Erik; his goddaughter, Anna Petrov; the staff of the Madison Public Library; and the Tuesday reading group, now in its thirty-second year, who read to him at the end when he could no longer hold the book. He was preceded in death by his parents and his sister, Ruth.
A memorial gathering will be held in the central library's community room on Saturday, August 30, at 2:00 p.m. All are welcome.
In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the Madison Public Library Foundation.
Avoid the word “alone”. Someone who is written about by their friends was not alone; the obituary is the evidence.
Who counts as a survivor
Anyone the person would have counted. Obituaries routinely list siblings, nieces and nephews, cousins, godchildren, in-laws, longtime companions, friends by name, colleagues as a group, congregations, clubs and — often — a dog. There is no rule that reserves the survivors list for blood relatives, and there never was.
A useful test: if the person would have expected that name to be read out at the service, it belongs in the list.
When a friend or executor writes the notice
Say who is publishing it — “placed by his neighbours on Wilson Street” or “his family of friends” — because readers wonder, and because it does the person credit. An executor writing for a client should confirm the birth date against a document and keep the notice factual; a friend writing for a friend can write it warmly, and should.
If there is no next of kin, the funeral home, the county or the parish will usually confirm the service details, and those are the ones worth being exact about — the point of the notice is that people can come.
Questions families ask
- What do you write when someone has no spouse or children?
- List the survivors the person would have named: siblings, nieces and nephews, godchildren, close friends by name, colleagues, the congregation or club. “He never married” can be stated plainly, and often is, right before the list.
- Can friends be listed as survivors in an obituary?
- Yes. Friends, neighbours, colleagues and congregations are routinely listed by name or as a group. If the person would have expected the name read out at the service, it belongs in the obituary.
- Who writes the obituary if there is no family?
- A friend, an executor, the funeral home or the parish. The notice usually says so — “placed by his friends at the Wednesday club” — which readers appreciate and which does the person credit.
This page is offered for informational purposes only. It is not legal, medical or funeral-directing advice, and no warranty is given as to its accuracy, completeness or fitness for any particular purpose. Where a detail matters — a date, a rank, a service time — confirm it with the funeral home, the church or the family before it is printed.
The other situations
Print it into a program the family keeps
Enter the details once — the same words make the program, the prayer cards, the bookmarks and the thank-you cards, print-ready in minutes. From $29.
Start the program