How do you list a second marriage in an obituary?

Both marriages, in order, with dates: “He married Elena Cruz in 1984; she died in 2011. He married Teresa Ruiz in 2015.” The surviving spouse leads the survivors; the late spouse is named under “preceded in death by”.

Should stepchildren be listed in an obituary?

Yes. Either as “his stepchildren, …” after the children, or — increasingly — with all of them together as “his children”. Decide it with the children before it is printed.

Do you name an ex-spouse in an obituary?

Usually once, factually, in the life section if they are the parent of the children, and not in the survivors list. Where there were no children, most families do not mention the marriage at all.

Writing an obituary for a blended family

A second marriage puts two families in one list, and the order they appear in is read closely by everybody in both. There is a standard way to do it that gives nobody grounds for complaint, and it is worth following even when the family is easy.

Fill in the obituary The standard format

What changes, and what stays the same

Both marriages are named, in order, with dates: “He married Ruth Alvarez in 1982; she died in 2009. He married Karen Doyle in 2013.”
The surviving spouse leads the survivors list. The late spouse goes under “preceded in death by”, named, not implied.
Children and stepchildren are usually listed together in age order, with the relationship stated once: “his children, Anna (Ben) Ruiz and Peter Ruiz, and his stepchildren, Kate Doyle and James (Mia) Doyle.”
Many blended families now write simply “his children” for all of them. That is a decision to make with the children, before it is printed, not after.
Grandchildren and step-grandchildren follow the same choice.
An ex-spouse who is the parent of the children is usually named once, factually, in the marriage sentence, and not listed as a survivor.

A worked example

George Henry Alvarez, 66, of Tucson, Arizona, died at home on August 19, 2026, with his family beside him.
George was born on January 9, 1960, in Tucson, to Henry and Rosa Alvarez. He rebuilt his first engine at thirteen in his father's shop and graduated from Pueblo High School in 1978.
He married Elena Cruz in 1984; she died in 2011. He married Teresa Ruiz in 2015, and they were married for eleven years.
George took over Alvarez Body Shop in 1986 and ran it for forty years, straightening and painting the cars of the south side honestly and at a fair price. In the evenings he restored the ones nobody else would: a 1960 Corvair, a 1957 Bel Air, a Studebaker that took him eleven years. He judged the Tucson Classics show for twenty-five years and never turned away a kid who wanted to learn to weld.
He is survived by his wife, Teresa; his children, Henry (Ana) Alvarez and Marisol (Carlos) Alvarez-Ruiz; his stepchildren, Daniel (Sofia) Ruiz and Elena Ruiz; his grandchildren, George, Rosa, Mateo and Luca; and his brother, Ray (Linda) Alvarez. He was preceded in death by his parents and by his first wife, Elena.
A funeral Mass will be held at St. Augustine Cathedral, 192 South Stone Avenue, on Wednesday, August 26, at 10:00 a.m.
In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the Pima Community College auto body scholarship.

Draft the survivors sentence, send it to every adult child before it goes anywhere, and let them correct their own line. Ten minutes there saves a decade of a family remembering who was left out.

Naming an ex-spouse

If the marriage produced children, the ex-spouse is normally named once in the life section — “his marriage to Ruth Alvarez ended in 1998; they raised two children together” — and is not in the survivors list. If there were no children and no ongoing relationship, most families do not mention the marriage at all, and no convention requires them to.

Where an ex-spouse is still close to the family, some obituaries list them plainly at the end of the survivors: “and his former wife and friend, Ruth Alvarez”. It is unusual, it is not wrong, and it should be the family's decision together.

Getting the survivors sentence agreed

This is the sentence that causes trouble, and the trouble is almost always about order and about the word “step”. Two questions settle it: does everyone appear, and does everyone appear the way they would describe themselves? Write the sentence, send it to each adult child, and let them fix their own entry.

In a printed program the survivors list often runs longer than in a paid newspaper notice — there is room for the full list on the back page or a tributes page, and printing everyone is cheaper than the alternative.

Questions families ask

How do you list a second marriage in an obituary?: Both marriages, in order, with dates: “He married Elena Cruz in 1984; she died in 2011. He married Teresa Ruiz in 2015.” The surviving spouse leads the survivors; the late spouse is named under “preceded in death by”.
Should stepchildren be listed in an obituary?: Yes. Either as “his stepchildren, …” after the children, or — increasingly — with all of them together as “his children”. Decide it with the children before it is printed.
Do you name an ex-spouse in an obituary?: Usually once, factually, in the life section if they are the parent of the children, and not in the survivors list. Where there were no children, most families do not mention the marriage at all.

This page is offered for informational purposes only. It is not legal, medical or funeral-directing advice, and no warranty is given as to its accuracy, completeness or fitness for any particular purpose. Where a detail matters — a date, a rank, a service time — confirm it with the funeral home, the church or the family before it is printed.

The other situations

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